It’s been four years

I feel like I still haven’t learnt the lesson

You tried to teach me long ago


I am

Struck down with indecision

Hiding in the folds and creases of time

Waiting, without participation

Or reaching for something else

Something better

Something with purpose or a path

Racked with doubt and dissatisfaction

So alone in hushed tones

I cry

Crushed and confused

Waiting for a release

Or knowledge of a better story for my life to follow

my love

blanketed sadness, lukewarm misery

shame this and sigh that

but I allow sadness to weep

out of my skin

out of my eyes and heart

cut bleed and indulge

try to make reality real

I know I’m doing right by you

one can only be selfish for so long

my happiness will never intrude on yours

I won’t allow it

I will burn

I will bleed

before I allow anyone to cause you pain

you deserve more than me

I will leave my heart with you

to keep safe

take care of her, let her dance

that spring is for regrowth

rebirth out of remains

and who remains?

after winter had consumed all the warmth in us

we survived but my heart must leave with you

and with you she goes

you’ve taken my warmth

I had it does you some good

I hope I did right by you

my love

My You

I was never happier than when I was with you

I was never safer than when you held me

I was never so uncertain than when you lost me

And now I sit in disbelief

Quietly waiting for the world

To be bright and warm once again

I’ve built my writers den

I live off affairs made of fantasy

I wallow in self pity and drink wine out of the bottle

I quote brilliant writers who found the words

Do I have to be broke and miserable

Depressed and full of vague bitterness

I don’t ask for much

Just the words


Only a writer wishes for heartbreak

in need

i am looking for someone to find meaning in my sorrow

line up and kiss the broken girl

what do you see, what is your interpretation

of her movements, or lackthereof

how do you write lack of feeling

how do you give weight to emptiness

have i lost my persuasion

who should i ask for it back

i’m just a child looking for answers

quietly at the back of her mind

i don’t want to disturb

but if you could help me

ill give you a kiss for your thoughts